Budge’s Dad always said getting old wasn’t for sissies or the faint hearted. Lately, I’ve been realizing exactly what he meant. I turned fifty and the wheels just fell off the apple cart. I’m up and down all night because I’ve suddenly developed a bladder the size of a walnut. When I wake up in the morning, I can’t just hop out of bed and get going like I could in my thirties. Now, I have to take roll call of all the body parts who will be taking part in this morning’s arising. Need to make sure the feet and legs are on board with the program and aren’t planning on ditching at the first sign of weight. The arms and chest have to say they’ll be willing to balance things, and of course, the old brain has to agree to run this whole sorry show one more day. Then I can get up . . . after I stretch a bit for safety’s sake.

Still, one thing I’ve been proud of as I’ve gotten older is my flexibility has remained a staple in my life. I can still sit in the floor cross-legged to work on something. I can get up from the floor with relative ease for a guy my size. Walking doesn’t hurt, which is wonderful. Or, it was until a few weeks ago. I went to sit in the floor Indian style and my left hip screamed out in pain like someone stabbed it with an ice pick. I had to wobble around on the floor some in order to get into a comfortable position. Getting up was a chore as well, since my left leg just didn’t want to play along. I noticed walking was becoming difficult as my left hip and knee started paining constantly. I was at a loss.

I wasn’t terribly concerned though because the pain was mostly manageable. I had my yearly checkup with my primary care doctor and I mentioned the new ache to her. She offered to have a set of x-rays done or set me up with some physical therapy, but I told her I’d just wait and see what happened. Well, what happened was ten days later I could barely walk. Every time I put my foot on the floor, pain shot through my knee and hip. I got in touch with my doctor and asked for a referral to an orthopedic doctor. She set me up and the wait to go see him was the longest two weeks of my life. I had to officiate my step-dad’s funeral while waiting and I was almost in tears, from grief, yes, but also because standing felt like nails being driven into my hip and knee.

Finally, the day came for my appointment. By that time, a slow shuffle was about the best I could manage. I got checked in, and the nurse took me back and had me change into an x-ray suit because my shorts had metal in them. Then I went for x-rays. I have to say that was the most thorough set of x-rays I’ve ever had. They included measuring devices and four different poses and the way they had me turn and contort was pure agony on my leg. I was so happy when they finished.

My nurse took me back to the exam room and I got changed out of those horrid shorts to wait on the doctor. He bounded in and shook my hand heartily so I immediately asked him how old he was. He said he was thirty-seven. I told him it didn’t matter, but I was at the age where I just wanted to know if my doctors were older or younger than me. Trust me, the older crowd is getting thinner and thinner. He had me lie down on the table and manipulated my knee. It didn’t hurt at all. It was my old smooth working knee. Then, he torqued my hip. I almost came off the table. White hot pain shot through my hip like lightning. He smiled and asked me if that hurt. I pointed out to him a special place in Hell awaits smartass doctors, and he laughed. He said my knee was perfect, absolutely nothing wrong with it. My hip, though, was another story.

He took out his phone and pulled up my x-rays. First he showed me my pristine knee. He said I wouldn’t have to worry with it for years. My right hip was also lovely. It had a clear band where the cartilage separated the hip socket from the hip ball. The left hip was a disaster. The nice clear band of cartilage was replaced by spiky things that filled up the entire space between the ball and socket. He gave me the bad news. My left hip was bone on bone and had become severely arthritic. That grinding is what was causing me pain.

Then, he gave me my options to fix it. He said I could take Celebrex for the pain and that would work for awhile. He told me shots into my hip wouldn’t do any good but if I wanted to go that route just to see, he’d set me up with one of his partners and I could try and proved him wrong. Physical therapy would make things worse. The only thing that could provide me permanent relief is a new hip. He said he’d done hundreds and it would be an outpatient surgery. I was borderline body mass that he liked to work with, but I was in spec so it wouldn’t be a problem. All I had to do was tell him when to set the surgery up. I asked him for the largest dose of Celebrex and some time to think. He said that was fine because it wasn’t going to get any worse.

See, I have a strange reason for not wanting to get a hip replacement right now. Budge is in pain from her hip – also the left one – but she can’t have a hip replacement because they told her her body mass index is too high. She’s taking Lyrica to get through the day but the only real relief will be a hip replacement. I don’t want to get one because I don’t feel it’s fair for me to walk around pain free with a new hip when she is still in lots of pain almost daily. She says that is a silly reason and I need to get it done so I can help her. I’m thinking about it.

Right now, I take a huge dose of Celebrex every morning and limp a little through the day. I have to be careful how I sit in the floor now to do things like clean the cat boxes. Walking is okay, but a wrong step still reminds me that hip needs replacing. So, here I am. I’m going to have to decide between my principles and my pain. Right now, I’m hold steady with principles. Budge is having a hip shot on Monday to see if that will help because the source of her pain is not arthritis like mine is so she’s got different options. If it helps her, I may schedule a surgery over her Christmas break. We’ll see.

Until then, remember I love y’all and keep those feet clean!