Grocery Store Feet are great. Now moms and grandmoms may not think so, and with the rise of video games and the couch potato generation, most kids may not know what they are anymore, but growing up, I lived for grocery store feet. Grocery store feet are the result of a temporary or permanent hatred of shoes. I despise shoes. I despised them when I was little and I don’t care for them much now. I have fourteen pairs and counting of Crocs because they are the closest I can come to barefootin’ it without embarrassing Budge too terribly much.
Simply put, grocery store feet are the black, filth encrusted feet of someone who has gone all day (or week or month or since Memorial Day) without wearing shoes. Before everyone became mycophobic, it was common for people, children especially, to go barefooted in grocery stores. Once you hopped across the July heated asphalt of the parking lot, the tile floor of the Community Cash or Piggly Wiggly felt pretty good. Here’s the catch though; those floors might LOOK clean and shiny, but one lap around the store and the bottom of your feet would look like a roofer’s boot after an all-day tarring job.
That black crust never really came off when you washed either. It would only fade. The only real way to conquer grocery store feet was to start wearing those dreaded canvas Nikes with socks again. By October, the bottoms of my feet would once again be pink as a newborn’s bottom and I hated it.
Know what? I still hate shoes.