Well, I told y’all last month about the debacle of discovering I had a malignant melanoma on my right shoulder. This past Tuesday, I had it taken off. It has proved to be an interesting experience, if I do say so.

I haven’t been worried about the surgery ever since we spoke to the doctor and he assured us there was nothing to worry about. Still, I couldn’t help but get a little nervous as the time drew near. I’m generally averse to pain in all its many forms and I wasn’t sure how much pain was going to be involved in getting this cancer off my shoulder. I also am not crazy about being put to sleep.

Until Tuesday, I’d only been put under twice. Once for my wisdom teeth back in high school, and once a few years ago when I had my carpal tunnel disorder fixed. I woke up during the wisdom teeth surgery for a bit. It was just long enough for the nurse to twist the knob a little, and I was right back out. For the hand surgery, I was so nervous the nurse went and got Budge to calm me down so I’d quit shaking long enough to get an IV started in my foot. Yeah, it had to be in my foot because they were working on both arms. I was barely out during that procedure. I felt some discomfort I thought I wouldn’t feel, and I remember a good bit of the surgery. So in all, getting put under is not a favorite thing of mine.

I got up Tuesday and got a shower with antibacterial soap, per the instructions I’d gotten on the phone. Actually, Budge had gotten the instructions because I didn’t recognize the number calling so I didn’t answer. I was glad of one thing. We didn’t have to be at the hospital until 9:30 AM, which is a lot better than the butt crack of dawn we’ve usually had to get there whenever Budge has had her surgeries. We got checked in at the business department and they walked us back towards the surgical waiting cubicles where I’d get prepped.

At that point, the took Budge away. That set off alarm bells because I don’t like being separated from her in strange places and I didn’t know why they were taking her away. I’d always gotten to wait with her whenever she had surgery. She told be later she was concerned about it too. Turns out it wasn’t much of a big deal. I just went and got changed into the hottest plastic Tyvek gown I’ve ever been in in my life. Then they started an iv in my arm and the parade started.

I call it a parade because it’s a procession of associate medical folks who have something to do with my surgery. I talked to the doctor in charge of knocking me out. (No I can’t spell it. Leave me alone.) Then the surgical resident and a medical student came by to let me know they’d be assisting the doctor. Then a couple more people with various titles showed up and finally, the nurse brought Budge back in to wait with me.

It was a wait, too. We sat there two hours waiting to go to the operating room. Come to find out, this is common when Dr. Trocha has surgical days because he has one patient after the other stacked up ready to go. He’ll go in and remove the lesion in one patient, his resident will close the incision, and he’ll already be gone to the next one. He had eight the day I was there. Anyway, we spent two hours listening to the Yacht Rock channel on the hospital tv system. Thankfully, we both like ’70’s easy listening music or it could have been tedious.

They finally came and got me and wheeled me back to the OR. All I remember after that point was the room was freezing. I barely had time to register that fact before the nurse pushed something in my IV and the next thing I knew, I was waking up looking at Budge and a nurse in recovery.

So far, the recovery hasn’t been so bad. I bled a good bit the first couple of days so Budge kept extra gauze taped to me so I only ruined two shirts. They put this tape on my shoulder over the incision, and I don’t know what it’s made of, but it puts duct tape to shame. It is STUCK! I’m supposed to leave it on until I see the doctor in two weeks, so it must be some durable stuff. I can get it wet, but I’m not supposed to turn it to the shower head directly.

The gash is a lot bigger than I thought it would be. The spot was just a centimeter or so square but he cut out a seven inch trench in my shoulder! I guess he wanted to be thorough. Mission accomplished. So I still can’t lay on that shoulder, which is a bummer for me because that’s my preferred shoulder. I also have to be careful pushing or pulling too much so I don’t pop a stitch, although I don’t see how that’s possible through that space age polymer tape they have on me. The worst part is it itches like crazy. Of course I can’t scratch it, so I pat it to try to get it to stop. It works about half the time.

But that’s it. That’s my surgery in a nutshell. I now have to put that I’ve had cancer on any medical history I fill out, and I have to go to the dermatologist every three months for a couple of years, but other than that, I don’t have anything to worry about! So, remember I love y’all and keep those feet clean!