Today is a banner day in my life. It’s a day of great importance that won’t be equaled anytime soon. Thirty years ago today — January 7, 1995 — Budge and I became a couple. It isn’t our thirtieth marriage anniversary yet. That will be next August, but it is the three decade mark of us being together. If you haven’t been keeping up, that’s a long time. It’s more than half my life and almost three quarters of Budge’s.

It all started when I was a first year teacher at Woodmont High School. I found out I was chosen to be a Natural Helper. At the time, I had no idea what that was, but it turns out it’s a nationwide organization dedicated to making sure youth in crisis have someone to turn to. We were chosen by students who felt they could trust us to have a place to talk safely. I was picked as one and therefore got to go on a retreat the first weekend back from Christmas Break.

Budge came up to me at school all bouncy and happy and announced quite proudly she would be allowed to call me by my first name for the following weekend! That was fine with me, but I was a little overwhelmed by her vehemence. That Thursday we left for the retreat site, one Awanita Valley Retreat Center, amid a downpour of snow and freezing rain. There was even some talk of cancelling, but our bus driver assured us he could get us there safely. So, we went. It was my birthday.

When we got to Awanita, we started unloading the bus. I walked into the lodge with a bag in each hand when Budge ran up to me, engulfed me in a hug, and told me Happy Birthday! Now my birthday has always been a big deal to me. I don’t know why, but I’ve always seen it as my one day out of the year when it’s okay to be happy to be myself. It was sweet that Budge remembered it was my birthday because I had only mentioned it to her in passing in a conversation.

All that evening, I couldn’t shake Budge. She was right by my side. Now don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t trying hard. She was funny and good company. We sat next to each other at supper and later on we did a blindfolded trust walk where I got blindfolded and she walked me around this totally unfamiliar ground and managed to keep me upright and avoided breaking my neck. We had a few more activities, and we went to be.

The next day, January 7, was the day things changed. Budge and I both signed up for a Hummer ride up the side of the mountain. The retreat had a surplus Hum-Vee with the canvas top removed so we were all out in the elements. It was a freezing morning, and the “trail” we were going up was two ill-defined ruts in the ground up the side a a much steeper than I thought at first mountain. As always, Budge was strapped in beside me in the middle seat.

Up the mountain we went at a pretty rapid rate of speed bouncing all over the place. Budge was pressed right up against me, practically in my lap on the rough ride. It was fun in a terrifying way. I was sure once or twice we were going off the side of the mountain. We got to the top, stopped long enough to turn around, and started back down faster than we’d come up. By the time we got to the bottom again, something was different between me and Budge.

We left the Hummer and went over to the lakeside and sat down next to each other on a log bench in the sunshine. We had a serious conversation that afternoon. We both agreed we liked each other, and we also agreed it was silly and reckless for a teacher and a student to have a romantic relationship, but then we also agreed we didn’t really care and decided we were a couple. Consequences be damned.

Now our closeness had not gone unnoticed by others. That evening, Budge was cornered by some of the older women teachers and wives and warned all about the age difference between us and how serious it would be for my job. The whole spiel. Meanwhile, out beside the evening campfire, I was getting the same treatment from a group of the older men. The were warning me about leading on such a young girl and how it could cost me my job. Again, all sound advice and in a sane world, they were exactly right.

We paid it no attention whatsoever. Our minds were made up. Now I’ll be honest, I thought the whole thing might just be chalked up to the atmosphere of the retreat and of course, Budge getting to call me by my first name. Turns out, I was dead wrong. It took about a week and a half of fits and starts once we got back to school, but soon, she was calling me often and I was looking forward to the calls. Later on in January, we went on our first date which is another story for another time.

So there it is. Thirty years we’ve been a couple, and it all started on the Hummer ride as far as we have always been concerned. Like I said earlier, thirty years is a long time. If we’d had children when we first got married, we might very well be getting ready to be grandparents by now. I hope it doesn’t sound silly, but I don’t really care if it does, but I consider my relationship with Budge to be my greatest accomplishment. Out of everything I’ve ever done, being with her together and loving each other for three decades is the most important thing I’ve ever done.

So, that’s our origin story. Thirty years today. We’ll go eat a good supper tonight and celebrate. I’m trying to figure out what to do next year for our thirtieth wedding anniversary, and I hope I can come up with something good. But until then, love y’all and keep your feet clean!